Fools, listen closely! I bring forth my dark power to conjure these trailers to entice and confuse your mortal brains! Be terrified by the havoc wrought unto this Earth by these films that shall make your blood turn to acid and your bones into… broken bones! Your flesh will char and melt away and you will pray for death if you dare watch these trailers! Your eyes may burst if you look upon them! Let my dark power consume you and allow me to tell you a little bit about some of my favorites!
1.Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors– Edgar Wright, director of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, introduces one of his all-time favorite trailers for the gore fest “Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors.” The film is a miasma of terrible tales, each more terrifying than the last! This film stars such foolish mortals as Donald Sutherland and Christopher Lee! They perish, as shall you, if you view this horrific monstrosity!
2. The Terror – Speaking of terror, you shall not be able to avert your burning eyes from the screen when you see this trailer from hell! Joe Dante of Gremlins fame explains some of the reasons he loves this Roger Corman disasterpiece, including the cardboard sets, Boris Karloff, Jack Nicholson, and of course, the TERROR ITSELF!
3. House on Haunted Hill – Fool! This trailer is not for the remake starring Owen Wilson, Catherine Zeta Jones and Liam Neeson! It is for the original, which launched Vincent Price’s career!
You’ve seen him agree with 29 other Helens, announce the cause of cancer, and just overall be a silly Canadian sketch comedy actor. Like a wild pokemon, we’ve finally captured the elusive Dave Foley. In his latest series, and Babelgum Comedy exclusive, The Sensible Traveler with Bobby Fargo, Foley plays the titular Bobby Fargo. Although really, the star of the show isn’t Foley so much as the various people he hilariously freaks out through his misadventures. A brief sample:
If you love us and want to say hi, or think this blog kisses too much Dave Foley butt, drop a line to comedy.babelgum+davefoley@gmail.com. Or don’t, because we’re quite busy making a collage of photos of Dave Foley. *swoon*
We know, we know. You’re forever in our debts, you’re greatly appreciative, and you don’t know how you would live without us. We get it. You enjoy our comedy at home, at your office, and at your mistresses’s home, but what about on the go? Well, without breaking any trademark laws, “there is an application for this thing we are discussing.”
Now with exclusive content from Funny or Die, you can laugh while you go. Or, if you’re at your mistress’s place, you can laugh while you come. So download the iPhone app right now, and know that we’ll always be there, laughing with/at you.
Just more smart comedy from Babelgum Comedy. You’re welcome.
The application not only features Strawberry Swing, a Coldplay newsfeed and videos from Coldplay’s back catalogue, there’s also a multi-level game in which you get to help superhero Chris battle a giant squirrel and sea monsters in order to save a princess in a world drawn in chalk (yes, the game is as surreal as the video itself!)
In the short film, The Blindness of the Woods, Swedish writers and directors Martin Jaljen and Javier Lourence take us on a journey that explores loneliness, betrayal, and passion. They do so by dressing up actors in sock-puppet costumes that only the Swedish would dream up (no offense, it’s very creative). This film seems like a lovely story of longing and heartfelt desire, but trust me, there is more hardcore (or should I say “softcore”?) action than you can shake a twig at. If you need any other convincing, check out what the characters have to say for themselves, then see the film for yourself. (NSFW, especially if you work in a textile factory.)
These Woods are Cold and Lonely
by Blind Woman
Living in the woods is tough. Especially when it is cold all the time and things get pretty lonely up here. I manage to get by, though, collecting twigs and things to make soup, slowly crying myself to sleep at night, you know- the usual. It would be nice to find someone out there who gets me. Unfortunately, I am totally blind, so I don’t know how I’d meet someone. Especially up here in the woods living by myself. I’m starting to think that maybe I should do something with my hair, but it is just a bunch of yarn anyway.
Fools, listen closely! I bring forth my dark power to conjure these trailers to entice and confuse your mortal brains! Be terrified by the havoc wrought unto this Earth by these films that shall make your blood turn to acid and your bones into… broken bones! Your flesh will char and melt away and you will pray for death if you dare watch these trailers! Your eyes may burst if you look upon them! Let my dark power consume you and allow me to tell you a little bit about some of my favorites!
